Events and meetings

18 October - Resilience, The courage to come back

18 October - Resilience, The courage to come back

We started the night with a round of trivia questions to identify individuals who have managed to defy their circumstances.

Can you answer these?  Don’t look at answers below  

1. Who was fired by a newspaper editor because he lacked imagination?
2. What famous and best-selling author got his iconic book rejected 30 times?
3. Who was rejected from his high school basketball team?
4. Who was told by his teacher that he was hopeless at the violin and he would never succeed as a violinist? 
5. Who was survived his  27 years of imprisonment but came out and rebuilt a nation?
6. Who got caught in a bushfire but was able to defy all odds and get back into the running game?

What do these individuals all have in common? 

These individuals all pushed through, they believed in themselves, they all had to learn how to face rejection and despite this, they continued and were able to bounce back and get to a higher level of success and they never gave up.

We can all be inspired by these stories. Although a few people were born resilient this is something that you can learnt and with role models around us, can be supported. 

When you think about resiliency what does the word mean to you?
These are a few words that were shared by the audience: 

  • Bounce back ability 
  • Experience
  • Strength
  • Positivity
  • Focus
  • Never give up - determination 
  • Great Attitude
  • Response versus reactive
  • Tenacity 
  • Confidence 
  • Never give up 
  • Grit
  • Motivation

The dictionary definition for resiliency is, The process of adapting in the face of adversity to spring back or bounce back. 

Resiliency can be reflected through art. If you look at the story of Nelson Mandela, he was jailed for nothing that he did to deserve 27 years in jail. Despite what the nature of humanity would do, which is to retaliate or to become bitter. He used the broken pieces of his circumstances to paint a way that society can look at and be inspired. He became the president and paved the way of forgiveness and rebuilding a nation that is today South Africa. He took his broken pieces and built piece of art.

We can also be inspired by Nature. When a storm occurs or a bushfire happens a palm tree will stay solid, maybe bending from left to right but resisting to be broken. 

How do you bounce back? 

In the face of trauma or negative events, we respond differently. There are three scenarios of response to trauma at the moment it occurs you plunge into a spiral of depression or hopelessness. You don't know

1. Post-traumatic stress 

At the moment the traumatic event occurs you plunge into a spiral of depression or hopelessness. You don't know what to do and you constantly think about it causing anxiety and panic. Never really getting back to where you were before the traumatic event or recover

2. Post-traumatic Resilience

There are some individuals that are able to recover from difficult events despite the odds. They are able to bounce back and heal. They find ways to overcome the trauma and this is what you call resilience. you bounce back to where you were before. In your emotional, physical or mental state. 

3. Post-traumatic Growth 

You have the pain and some people come back stronger. The perfect song by Pink, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, this is because people learn from these and reframe their thinking. The difference with these people and those in the category of PT-Stress or PT-Resilience is how they think about themselves and their surrounding. 

The way that you can think differently is by practicing mind control.  At the moment after you go through the trauma (like getting fired) you immediately need to identify your thoughts. Do you choose to think in a negative light, oh why does this happen to me, feeling pity for yourself Or, you can choose to think that this is now the next oppertunity for me and re-write the story.  

So instead of thinking about failure as being part of you and that being the norm, think of the hero that will make a big come back! Change your thoughts which will change your world

Train yourself to explain your thoughts optimistically. Do not let failures and trauma to define your future, do not give them power. If you expect to fail it will cause you anxiety and if you feel that everything is hopeless and out of control, you stop trying and then you miss opportunities. 

In the dark of winter, it is hard to see that spring is coming. Winter never lasts forever! Focus on what you can control, look for meaning and become stronger than you were before.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invisible summer." 

Resilience is a personal journey. Here are some things that you can do to build resilience;

 1. Acceptance
Picture your life as a running stream and you are in the middle of the water in your canoe. You come to a point of upstream where you are resisting change. When you paddle upstream you become stuck and you literally are not going anywhere. So at times, you may need to not resist and depending on the situation you may need to take it downstream and focus on new opportunities and look at what is important and pick your battle.

2. Stop comparing yourself 
When you are in a Superman pose and you are trying to balance on one leg, you need to be focused so you do not lose balance. But if you start to look around at others are achieving e.t.c you lose your focus. Look after yourself. Do you! Exercise, eat well, surround yourself with what you love and what makes you happy. So that when things happen you are already in a good place. 

3. Strengthen your inner self/ Pay attention to self-identify  

Pay attention to your self-identity. How strong is your self-esteem? Confidence is important. How do you build it? Set yourself an achievable goal so that when you achieve it you gain the confidence. Pay attention to where you place your value. Do you place your value in external things, your job title, what you own? your physical appearance. These things always change.  

4. Be content

What is your attitude in your season? Change your mindset to be happy in the moment. Find love, joy, and peace in the moment. Write a gratitude journal every day to remind yourself of everything that you have around you today. 

5. Find your purpose 

When you understand what it is you are to do, everything else around you is white noise. It gives you something to hold on to and remind you what it is you are to achieve. Learning to trust that is the ultimate way that you can hold tight in the moments of challenges and pressures. 

What resilience is not about hiding your feelings, its good to have a cry and moments of the low emotions but it is about realising that you cannot stay there. 

People have blind spots, assumptions, interpretation and limiting beliefs and unless we change those things being able to shift yourself is the struggle. Change at times is a challenge. 

In conclusion, Sophie mentions that we all have a choice - In every challenge that we face we have to make a conscious decision. Will we choose to become better? or will we choose to become bitter? Be like the palm tree that may bend but NOT break.

 

Finally, check your trivia questions, here are the answer.
1. Walt Disney
2. Stephen King
3. Michael Jordon 
4. Beethoven 
5. Taria Pitt

18 October - Resilience, The courage to come back

We started the night with a round of trivia questions to identify individuals who have managed to defy their circumstances.

Can you answer these?  Don’t look at answers below  

1. Who was fired by a newspaper editor because he lacked imagination?
2. What famous and best-selling author got his iconic book rejected 30 times?
3. Who was rejected from his high school basketball team?
4. Who was told by his teacher that he was hopeless at the violin and he would never succeed as a violinist? 
5. Who was survived his  27 years of imprisonment but came out and rebuilt a nation?
6. Who got caught in a bushfire but was able to defy all odds and get back into the running game?

What do these individuals all have in common? 

These individuals all pushed through, they believed in themselves, they all had to learn how to face rejection and despite this, they continued and were able to bounce back and get to a higher level of success and they never gave up.

We can all be inspired by these stories. Although a few people were born resilient this is something that you can learnt and with role models around us, can be supported. 

When you think about resiliency what does the word mean to you?
These are a few words that were shared by the audience: 

  • Bounce back ability 
  • Experience
  • Strength
  • Positivity
  • Focus
  • Never give up - determination 
  • Great Attitude
  • Response versus reactive
  • Tenacity 
  • Confidence 
  • Never give up 
  • Grit
  • Motivation

The dictionary definition for resiliency is, The process of adapting in the face of adversity to spring back or bounce back. 

Resiliency can be reflected through art. If you look at the story of Nelson Mandela, he was jailed for nothing that he did to deserve 27 years in jail. Despite what the nature of humanity would do, which is to retaliate or to become bitter. He used the broken pieces of his circumstances to paint a way that society can look at and be inspired. He became the president and paved the way of forgiveness and rebuilding a nation that is today South Africa. He took his broken pieces and built piece of art.

We can also be inspired by Nature. When a storm occurs or a bushfire happens a palm tree will stay solid, maybe bending from left to right but resisting to be broken. 

How do you bounce back? 

In the face of trauma or negative events, we respond differently. There are three scenarios of response to trauma at the moment it occurs you plunge into a spiral of depression or hopelessness. You don't know

1. Post-traumatic stress 

At the moment the traumatic event occurs you plunge into a spiral of depression or hopelessness. You don't know what to do and you constantly think about it causing anxiety and panic. Never really getting back to where you were before the traumatic event or recover

2. Post-traumatic Resilience

There are some individuals that are able to recover from difficult events despite the odds. They are able to bounce back and heal. They find ways to overcome the trauma and this is what you call resilience. you bounce back to where you were before. In your emotional, physical or mental state. 

3. Post-traumatic Growth 

You have the pain and some people come back stronger. The perfect song by Pink, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, this is because people learn from these and reframe their thinking. The difference with these people and those in the category of PT-Stress or PT-Resilience is how they think about themselves and their surrounding. 

The way that you can think differently is by practicing mind control.  At the moment after you go through the trauma (like getting fired) you immediately need to identify your thoughts. Do you choose to think in a negative light, oh why does this happen to me, feeling pity for yourself Or, you can choose to think that this is now the next oppertunity for me and re-write the story.  

So instead of thinking about failure as being part of you and that being the norm, think of the hero that will make a big come back! Change your thoughts which will change your world

Train yourself to explain your thoughts optimistically. Do not let failures and trauma to define your future, do not give them power. If you expect to fail it will cause you anxiety and if you feel that everything is hopeless and out of control, you stop trying and then you miss opportunities. 

In the dark of winter, it is hard to see that spring is coming. Winter never lasts forever! Focus on what you can control, look for meaning and become stronger than you were before.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invisible summer." 

Resilience is a personal journey. Here are some things that you can do to build resilience;

 1. Acceptance
Picture your life as a running stream and you are in the middle of the water in your canoe. You come to a point of upstream where you are resisting change. When you paddle upstream you become stuck and you literally are not going anywhere. So at times, you may need to not resist and depending on the situation you may need to take it downstream and focus on new opportunities and look at what is important and pick your battle.

2. Stop comparing yourself 
When you are in a Superman pose and you are trying to balance on one leg, you need to be focused so you do not lose balance. But if you start to look around at others are achieving e.t.c you lose your focus. Look after yourself. Do you! Exercise, eat well, surround yourself with what you love and what makes you happy. So that when things happen you are already in a good place. 

3. Strengthen your inner self/ Pay attention to self-identify  

Pay attention to your self-identity. How strong is your self-esteem? Confidence is important. How do you build it? Set yourself an achievable goal so that when you achieve it you gain the confidence. Pay attention to where you place your value. Do you place your value in external things, your job title, what you own? your physical appearance. These things always change.  

4. Be content

What is your attitude in your season? Change your mindset to be happy in the moment. Find love, joy, and peace in the moment. Write a gratitude journal every day to remind yourself of everything that you have around you today. 

5. Find your purpose 

When you understand what it is you are to do, everything else around you is white noise. It gives you something to hold on to and remind you what it is you are to achieve. Learning to trust that is the ultimate way that you can hold tight in the moments of challenges and pressures. 

What resilience is not about hiding your feelings, its good to have a cry and moments of the low emotions but it is about realising that you cannot stay there. 

People have blind spots, assumptions, interpretation and limiting beliefs and unless we change those things being able to shift yourself is the struggle. Change at times is a challenge. 

In conclusion, Sophie mentions that we all have a choice - In every challenge that we face we have to make a conscious decision. Will we choose to become better? or will we choose to become bitter? Be like the palm tree that may bend but NOT break.

 

Finally, check your trivia questions, here are the answer.
1. Walt Disney
2. Stephen King
3. Michael Jordon 
4. Beethoven 
5. Taria Pitt

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