New Years Goals Done Differently
Making New Year’s resolutions that are centered on self-improvement are very common. However most of us fail to follow through with what we set out to do. In fact, the failure rate is 88%. Let’s explore why most people lose their motivation to reach their goals and how to change this trend.
The way we approach New Year’s Resolutions & goal setting is flawed as we most often come from a place of fear. Our inner critic makes us believe that what we previously have done has not been enough. So we create a “To do” list which is based on things we should be doing to correct the parts we like least about ourselves – what a “good” person would do. Obviously, these goals are coming from a place that is sabotaging our resolve. They are stressful to pursue, often uninspiring, and draining. However, if you observe closely beneath the surface, goals are always about creating a change in how we want to feel.
This year I invite you to clarify how you’d like to feel in 2019. Once clear on those feelings, you can envision those accomplishments and experiences that could make you feel that way. For example one of my clients struggles with obesity. Her goal is to lose weight by doing her exercise program regularly and not eating junk food. When she explored the feelings she actually desired – the feelings that lay underneath this goal – this is what came up for her: she wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride, to feel self-respect and love. She wanted to feel the joy she gets walking her dogs without being out of breath; she wanted to feel freedom. Not only did she become clear on how she wanted to feel, she also started to come up with different pathways to reach those desired feelings that were not limited to her original goal. She could take the dogs for a walk making the round a little longer every day. She could stand in front of the mirror and feel grateful for who she was. Create a support group that will exercise two days a week with her. Celebrate small accomplishments. Make a weekly meal plan. Envision how she wanted to feel (feel it, smell it, taste it).
You see, if we attach ourselves to a particular goal – we can get stuck. However, once you focus on your desired feeling you will find that there is always an abundance of paths to what you want to create in your life. Your list of possible “to dos” becomes meaningful. And you can start right NOW.
When you get clear on how you want to feel, your decisions on what to do get informed by the heart of the matter. You start to see that life is full of opportunities to feel exactly the way you want to feel!
About the Author: Anne Barratt, from Empowering Health works with Kinesiology, Hypnotherapy, Mind Body Coaching & Energy Work to discover the underlying contributing factors to your problems, resulting in long last change for the better.