The year of the mountain
My word for 2017 was Mountain.
I never thought that the meaning of a word could change in the space of 10 months.
I thought this year was going to be about climbing the mountain. Taking the next step after the next step after the next step. And is has been. The only difference in my expectations to my experience is that the mountain wasn’t external. It wasn’t work related. It wasn’t relationship related. It wasn’t family related. It wasn’t education related. It wasn’t about any of those things.
I only recently realised that the mountain I’m climbing was me.The one step after one step, was about me taking one step at a time to reveal more of me to me. Who am I really? What makes me me? Who am I minus the influencers? What do I need to let go over so I can reach new heights? Through surrendering. Through pulling back the layers. Through losing the attachment to the person I was, to the person I think I am, to the person I want to be. Basically getting over myself in a big way. It has taken me near next to the whole year to work this out. And I have still have so, so long to go. Just at the tip of the iceberg!
And what is all this climbing … really for?
At the start of 2017, I looked back on 2016 as a really great year. So I thought how could I have an even better year in 2017? How could I get more out of the year? How could I make the year go longer?
At the time the only way I knew was to focus more on ‘being in the moment’. To feel more in the actual moment. The more living in the moment equals more living. Simple. Right.
The trade-off, which can sometimes not feel so good but is worth it in the long run, is, anything and everything comes up. Frustrations, confusion, sadness, loneliness, forgiveness, happiness, trust, love, understanding, forgiveness, compassion, fun, courage, strength, honesty, truth, faith, peace.
The beautiful thing about all of this was that the more I felt, the more I wanted to feel.
And, the year hasn’t rushed by.
In the world we live in, it’s so easy to suppress our emotions. I have observed this in my own behaviours: Food, alcohol, phone, busy, drama, holidays, overworking…. Looking for distractions that take me away from what’s true to me.
Through surrendering, I have changed. I have said yes to things I wouldn’t of typically of said yes to. And what a year it has been so far. Full. Memorable. Lots of energy. Lots of learning. Lots of good people. Lots of laughs. Lots of tears. Lots of living.
Thank you 2017. You got me good. It’s not the end, still loads of time to put the icing on the cake!
