Parenting styles, What is more effective?
A timely topic, for the school holiday period, when you are parenting more than ever. More effective parenting is a win for children, parents and business (i.e. if you are better at home you are better at work).
1. The myth that we should be able to parent – Let go of the expectation that we should know how to parent because we have had a baby.
2. The parenting toolbelt that most of us use is discipline and punishment. This creates a downward spiral of lose-lose. It’s a challenging situation and usually starts with the parents reacting.
3. Research has proven that harsh parenting is harmful to the child. You want to keep your children safe and connected to you. Aggressive or fight or flight parenting breaks your relationship over time.
4. The great thing about parenting is that you can always start again at any point in time.
5. STOP – Naturally takes you to the next step. It creates boundaries and clarity.
6. Empathise and Educate = Win-Win Parenting
7. Children potentially doing the wrong thing if you are not around, i.e not sharing. The approach:
First : Pre-empt the problem.
Second: Control the environment.
Third: Listen, listen, listen.
8. When addressing reoccurring behaviour patterns, like not going to bed every night. Discuss this one-on-one, but out of the environment.
9. Parents should take full responsibility for their emotions. And not suggest that your child is making you feel or react a certain way. This teaches children that they should also do the same. So as they grow, they realise they can manage their emotions, which develops resilience.
10. Turning a NO into a YES. First do a ‘No audit’ on yourself. How many times are you saying no? Now change this up and start saying YES to everything – a conditional YES where you can. This creates a ‘ladder of YES’ for the whole family.
11. Let children make decisions where possible.
If you would like to know more details or information we recommend you get in touch with Dr Rosina McAlpine. Rosina is extremely approachable. She provides an online course and does a lot of work with corporate companies who invest in the whole person (inside and outside work).